Pole Dancing to Replace Pole Vaulting

It’s Official! The National Olympic Committee announced plans to replace the 150 year old sport citing, unless those assholes can hammer throw themselves over a crossbar in hooker heels, they no longer have an interest in the track and field sport.




Committee board member, Dudley Houston agreed, “I don’t remember there being a pole at the last supper, but hey if it’s ok with JC, then it’s okay with us!”



Pole dancing has evolved and has become a well loved national sport. Now, Pole Dancing for Jesus classes are being offered. Soon pole dancing for tykes! Why not share this wonderful experience with the world!? The 6 metres club will now be known as the 6 inch metres club!

Puerile Score Premieres 'It's Complicated' Card Collection

Today we launched a new line of greeting cards entitled, 'It's Complicated'. In an effort to supply public demands, Pueriles Score now offers words of encouragement for the friend or family member with 'mixed feelings'. This is for those poor, confused souls who want to express a hint of sentiment without feeling like a dick, because the rest of the world my care, but you have your personal reasons for not giving a fuck.

Now you have a chance to say what it is you've been holding onto, but just didn't have the balls to express it. Perhaps the timing was all wrong. Maybe, the right opportunity presented itself and the lines you rehearsed, escaped you. We understands that offering condolences to an asshole is a difficult feat to face. Don't worry, you are no longer alone. The world is full of wonderful creatures like you. We know you have a good heart. You're just a little upset over that dipshit who ruined some part of your life and is still alive because the Lord failed to duct tape their mouth, put them in the front seat of a semi and set it on fire. So now your stuck celebrating another birthday with this pissant.

Puerile Score is setting a new standard in communicating mixed feelings. Here is sample of our new line:

It's complicated greeting cards

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This Just In:

Secret Service and Homeland Security had to shut down the White House in an effort to locate the President's missing pack of Kool 100 lights. "Where's my smokes!?!" was all they heard screeching from the oval office.

***UPDATE****

Since this last post, we have just been given the 20 on the smokes.

The Kools were safely tucked away in the freezer.

My Social Network Facebook Movie Poster Meme

As an ode to the upcoming movie, The Social Network, I wanted to get a feel for my very own movie poster.

I don't think anyone would disagree that mine is better.

Google: Honesty is Our Policy

We love Google for many reasons; finding a great restaurant, getting directions to the new neighborhood brothel, background checks on a potential mate, etc. One of the great features of Google, that I’m always excited about, if I misspell a word Google doesn’t hesitate to correct me.


Google is like a best friend who gives it to you straight. No bullshit. How could you not love a friend like that? Just the other day, I consulted my human friend as to which suit I should wear to an interview. She wasn’t much help at all. At which point, I had to turn to Google for answers.


Google provided an endless list of how to dress for success, not to mention a bevy of articles on how to interview like a pro! Being a woman of color, I have to stand out. First impressions are everything!


Well, I didn’t get the job. I tried following up with previous employers and staffing agents for help to no avail. So like always, I turn to Google for answers in hopes that it will provide this Arizona native some insight. And as always Google keeps it real.

6 Things You Should Never Say to a Lesbian

1. You're a dick
2. Should I take the weenies out of the Franco beans & weenies?
3. Is there an app for that?
4. Who is Jeremy?
5. Is it always sunny in Vagina, I mean Virginia, I mean Colorado?
6. You're a lesbian? Really? Really? Really? For reals?

Bullwash: The Bullshit Eliminator

The Bullshit Eliminator: Bullwash

Tired of hearing bullshit with your Duck a L’Orange?
Irritated for sending your poached salmon with black truffles back because it came with a side order of horseshit?
Not in the mood for a Tiger Woods press conference apology?
Wish your date respected the sensational art of STFU?


Not only does Bullwash remove harsh enzymes that produce diarrhea of the mouth, it also freshens your breath! Bullwash is medically designed to de-bullshit your date for up to 4 hours! And for overnight booty calls, try extra strength Bullwash with a time release formula.

Bullwash annihilates oral bacteria to prevent crap from seeping from the orifices of the mouth, thus killing the mouth dandruff that forms lies, horseshit and other acne of the tongue.