Since the dawn of time, the female species has ruled a step ahead on the developmental trajectory as the smarter and highly adaptable creatures among the sexes. She develops, swims, walks and talks at a far earlier stage of growth than her counterpart.
Maturing three times faster, it is the
She who has always had the cerebral advantage over males, learning to achieve and accomplish goals miles ahead of the average
He. “My older brothers are so stupid, it’s embarrassing! I beat them in everything. Pick a game, any game! It’s like playing with lame ass slinkies, they’re good for nothing, but fun as hell to throw down steps,” says second grader, Simone Carver.
Dr. Friedrich Fuchs von Wilhelm, a renowned professor at the Fuchenstein Institute, has conducted years of research and study into this matter. “It is to be male, not female. It’s the law. I don’t understand how over the years that men have grown into such pussies! No more boys to men, it’s more like boys to punk bitches! Mother Nature will not stand for this!”
“It doesn’t matter that they’re gay, they have a penis! Man then woman, that’s the way nature intended."
Evolution has introduced a new superhuman male, one who has outgrown, outsmarted and supersedes both the average male and female in various areas of expertise. This superhuman possess outstanding qualities in every facet of our growing society. In order to compete in today’s fast lane, Mother Nature continues to impress with this brand of species; the queer eye.
“It doesn’t matter that they’re gay, they have a penis! Man then woman, that’s the way nature intended. It’s about survival and maintaining the lead. If you don’t have a gay friend, family member or neighbor your general life span can and will suffer. The gays have more class, are more successful, have more brass, balls and brawn than some of the gutless wonders running amok in this great country of ours,” rants Dr. Friedrich.
We all develop at various stages in growth. The total brain size for females’ peaks at 11.5 years of age and 14.5 in males, but for the superhuman gay male, his peaks at an incredible age of seven! To support these findings, Dr. Friedrich administered several tests on 300 kiddies at the tender age of three. He noted how each differs in ideas, motivation and substance. His research has led him to astonishing discoveries. “Children are fascinating! It’s amazing what they can accomplish at such a young age,” says the good doctor. After a considerable amount of testing, screaming, biting, gum removal and a quick spot mop of vomit, Friedrich’s team was able to put together the following results.
The average 3yr female displays, with confidence, the following achievements:
Reading
Math, she definitely knows if you took something of hers.
Whining
Competitive attitude
Spending money
Able to order shoes on the computer
Manipulation
“Mines”
Whoring attention
Violence
Average 3yr old Male: Kyle was asked to draw a star. He tried his best.
Making a mess
Destroying property and the property of others
Pointing
Finding the cookie jar
Using head as a weapon
Developing the perfect root beer belly
Dog poo vs chocolate
Still struggles with coloring books, but is making fast improvements
Average 3 yr old Gay Male: Jeremy built and designed this himself.
Cooking
Tailoring
Fashion
Dancing/ Choreography
Media Relations
Art of War
Event Coordination
Shaving/ Waxing
Fitness
Investments
Interior Design
