Surgeon General Regina Benjamin has issued an emergency recall on all bridal magazines. Effective immediately all bridal magazines will be display the following surgeon general warning:
- May cause vomiting
- Known to cause diarrhea
- May cause headaches and loss of that last nerve
- May cause a slow and painful death
- May cause aging
- May resort in unwarranted STDs
- May cause worry and hallucinations
- Proven to alienate your single friends
- Fatalities include becoming a “WE” person
- May reduce sperm count
- High results in “Fuck you, too!” mannerisms
- Tiger Woods, Jesse James, etc.
- Divorce
- Sharing
- Reduction in sexual activity
- Vegas with the boys...yeah right!
- May clog the arteries and cause high blood pressure
- In-laws
- You still have to wake up with this person…everyday
- Inability to dress yourself
- Nagging
- Death, but not just any death because that would be too easy. This kind comes slow, painful, like a gaseline-kissed torch affecting all vital organs. The kidneys are known to go first.
by Keshia Kola
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